Sunday, September 24, 2017

3 Steps to Manage Anger and Emotions More Effectively (Continued…)


Anger is one emotion that we have all felt at some point in our lives. However, the way we express and manage it can vary from person to person. For many around the world, anger is just a common emotion. Most have not felt it to an overwhelming amount in their lives.
For me, the story is different. Anger was a fierce emotion and it would consume me. I eventually realized that anger was not just an emotion in my case but a problem that needed to be resolved.

Why I Needed the Control?

When you let an emotion overwhelm or consume you, it can become a weakness. Emotions should be expressed but they say excess of everything is bad. Too many emotions make us vulnerable to the harsh world. But in case of anger, the situation is slightly different. Anger is not just something that affects you but the people around you.
Consider it as a metaphorical force of nature that leaves you wrecked as it leaves your body and then damages all other people in its way. It is ironic that subduing anger can also be a problem. In an attempt to save people, we often let the anger fester inside ourselves. And that is so much worse. The anger that festers rots us from the inside and erupts ferociously at some point. That explosion can cause lots of destruction in one’s life.

My Decision to Manage Anger

As I have mentioned that directing anger outwards all the time or subduing it can be destructive. The real solution is anger management. And many people don’t understand how to do that. I was the same. All I saw was two solutions. Either I needed to take out my anger or let it build up inside. Both solutions never worked.
My excess anger started to take a toll on me. I had already done so much damage and did not have the courage to suffer more. So I decided to develop a method for anger management. I tirelessly came up with FPS.

What is FPS?

FPS simply stands for feelings, problems, and solutions. The formula I used is Feeling + Problem = Solution.

How Does FPS Work?

FPS is based on three ways that will eventually lead you to manage your anger effectively and live a calmer life.

Feelings

The basic reason behind almost any anger is the feeling of being unheard. The anger clouds our judgment and we are more focused on expressing anger than actually saying what we wanted. So the first step is to communicate what you are feeling. Share what you want to be heard respectfully. And people will hear.

Problems

Now that people have heard you, it does not necessarily mean that understand. So sit down together and discuss the problems.

Solutions

With the expressed feelings and exposed problems, all parties involved will feel much calmer. This provides a sound situation to find solutions.
I highly prefer using this method if you are suffering like I did. I think FPS can work for most negative emotions.




Tuesday, September 19, 2017

FPS: HOW IT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE

FPS: HOW IT HAS CHANGED MY LIFE
FPS is not one of those scratch-at-the-surface, superficial and hence, ineffective techniques of managing anger, rather it is a down-to-the-root approach of managing and transforming the negative emotion of anger into a constructive emotion that could enhance your health, self-esteem, communication skills and emotional mastery.
Anger as an emotion is neutral, it is neither bad nor good. It is a normal reaction of man to situations and circumstances of life and it may either be productive or counterproductive. It is productive when you use it to make some self-assertion and demonstrate how passionate you are about something. However, it becomes counterproductive when it regularly spirals out of control or flares up too often. Chronic fits of anger emotion may have negative impacts on one’s health, relationships and state of mind.
However, the fact is managing and transforming anger emotion into positive vibes is one of the easiest and most natural things you can ever do, but that is only if you apply a practical, workable technique to deal with it and that is where our heuristically developed technique, FPS ( Feelings + Problem = Solutions), comes in handy.
It Deals With Anger
FPS is a life-transforming system that reprograms the way we think and reason, even at the subconscious level. It effectively attacks the root causes of the negative anger emotion and ‘weed them out'. It, in effect, changes our patterns of thoughts that are responsible for the explosive anger emotion. It also detects and defuses the hidden, pent-up feelings of anger which, like a time bomb, is waiting to explode someday.
It Enhances Communication Skills
The heartbeat of every healthy relationship is communication and proper communication skills foster understanding and peace in a society. FPS helps to improve positive, assertive communication skills. It helps an anger-prone, irritable individual to develop healthy relationships with others.
It Improves Self-Esteem
According to Psychology and Sociology, self-esteem has been described as the overall emotional appraisal of oneself. Having too little of it can cause depression, frustration, and nonfulfillment of potentials. FPS has proven to be effective in boosting self-esteem and hence, helps to have a sound understanding of whom we are thereby enhancing self-fulfillment.
It Enhances Emotion Mastery
Most health conditions have been linked with bad emotional status. Fluctuations in emotional levels is not good for one’s health. FPS enables you to have a firm grip on your emotions. It will also help you to stabilize your emotions and make you the master of it. Hence, you will be free to decide what you will do and how you respond to any external circumstances or provocations.

FPS is a product of years of practical application of its integral principles and techniques in the lives of many people who have suffered from fits of their own explosive anger. The system has proven its efficacy by transforming the lives of such people. It is, undoubtedly, a perfect solution for managing and transforming negative anger emotion into a positive and constructive emotion which drives achievement and creativity.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Harm & Dangerous Affects Of Silence



If i didn't find that remaining silent to be so very dangerous, creating passive-aggressive outcomes that drives a person mad, i wouldn't be against it. If i didn't find that remaining silent to be so very dangerous, creating anxious thoughts and unhealthy anxious that eventually need medication to control, i wouldn't be against it. If i didn't find that remaining silent to be so very dangerous, creating stress and bodily harm, resorting a person to either turn to drugs, alcohol, etc., i wouldn't be against it.

If i didn't find that remaining silent to be so very dangerous, creating others to take advantage of the meek, i wouldn't be against it. If i didn't find that remaining silent to be so very dangerous, creating people who suffer in silence, as it become an acceptable norm, i wouldn't be against it. If i didn't find that remaining silent to be so very dangerous, creating resentment and strife, i wouldn't be against it. If i didn't find that remaining silent to be so very dangerous, creating silent would be killers, such as those we now call "terrorist," i wouldn't be against it.

If i didn't find that remaining silent to be so very dangerous, creating bullies in schools and angry wives who would severe a mans penis in vengeful rage, i wouldn't be against it. If i didn't find that remaining silent to be so very dangerous, creating feelings of jealousy, which turns into violence, i wouldn't be against it. But, if remaining silent on things we know we should speak out against is now the norm, sure, let's all be silent and see where it gets us!

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

The title: “Inside Out”



I’d like to hear back from you…What do you feel is the moral of this story?

Right now as I type this message on my Compaq laptop, above my laptop I have a shelf that holds a 10 gallon fish tank. In the tank, the water is clean, crisp, and serene and the gold fish inside appear to be swimming in air. Yesterday as I took a minute to reflect on my life and the life of others around me, I gazed unconsciously at the 9 fish swimming in the tank. Then a thought surfaced on my mind like a jellyfish surfing on beach sand that said: "Supposing I was to leave that tank with no means of cleaning filtration for about a year, what would happen," I pondered.

Then, shortly thereafter an idea popped in, poof, like a puff of white smoke streaming from a genie's lamp. In the tank is various sizes of gold fish from 3 larger one, 3 medium size and 3 small ones. I then imagined watching, over time, the effects of the uncleaned and unfiltered water that would eventually develop in the tank. I imagine that soon, few months would go by, 3 fish dies, leaving me with 6 "healthy fish." Another few months, 2 more started becoming delusional and paranoid, saying and doing things which didn't make sense, thereby freaking out the remaining 4 fish. Seemingly unaffected and not phased, the 4 remaining stigmatize, ridicule, and medicate the 2, labeling them sick, crazy and ill.

Months go by, the tank is getting worse, no one around to clean it, another of the 4 remainders fall ill; leaving only 3. 2 of the 3 still remaining, they decide to investigate, mistakenly concluding as doctors that its cancer and begin to do extensive research and paid studies to discover the brain of the ill fish are malfunctioning and showing signs of disease. They have the information "correct," because the studies say so and science support it. Their religious beliefs support it, too. “Those other fish were just crazy and out their minds,” they say.

Oblivious to the danger looming, with nowhere safe and clean to go, the 2 remaining fish come to realize it's the environment, which made them ill, warnings they ignored as politicians they now feel helpless and overwhelmed. For nearly a year, the water became saturated with “emotional pollution,” produced by the gold fish themselves and their wasteful habits and greed, which polluted the environment even faster. The reason the 2 lasted that long was not because of their financial status, and titles as psychologist and psychiatrist, but only because there was a black algae eater inside the tank with them, eating up as much as the emotional waste and contaminates as he was able.

Now supposing one of the bigger stronger gold fish realized this, but nothing could be done as their environment and all the "warnings" they ignored, finally killed them; all accept the ‘black algae eater’ who recycled much of what he could until outside help came along.

THE MORAL OF THIS STORY? This message IS your “Outside” help. You may find it weird, only because I’m the one observing what’s happening “Inside” my own environment.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015